Sunday, September 27, 2009

Waging Wars to Shake the Poet and the Beat

I've been pathetically laying in bed for the past few hours playing this game that I'm addicted to.  I feel horrible and that is my excuse.  I'm going through another bout of stomach issues, with headaches and nausea.  My trip to Hampi screwed up the immunity I have built the past few weeks.  Now I am back to sqaure one going through the process all over again.  Emotionally, there is also something that is not right about me and I have yet to figure that out.  I have a few ideas and it is probably a combination of everything going on in my head.  Since I've been gone, I have missed a lot of birthdays and with the upcoming months I am going to miss more.  Tomorrow is my dad's and best friend's birthday.  I feel a bit guilty not being there for my dad.  I haven't seen him since June and talking to him is impossible.  Since his stroke, my relationship with him hasn't been the same.  He is physically here, but I often wonder if he is mentally.  It is hard for me to see him struggle and the suffering he is going through is unfair.  I've purposely stayed away and for months subconsciously didn't tell any of my friends that he was back living in Los Angeles.  It's not the proper way to handle things, but for the mean time, it is, what it is.   

Today's practice was our first day back from holiday.  We have 2 more classes, then the shala is closed again for another 4 days.  My practice this morning was actually good.  I wasn't sure how I would do with the stomach issues and was worried that I would be unfocused from the long break.  There is this one asana I'm working on and I usually end up with my forehead crashing into the mat with my legs crossed over my arms stuck.  My forehead didn't slam into the mat today, but I still need to work on getting out of the pose. 

Not much going on today.  Christian is leaving tomorrow so I plan on spending sometime with him.  Since Jonah arrived, I haven't seen much of Christian.  One of my friends mentioned that Christian might feel like a bit casted out which in truth weren't my intentions.  I'm sure I would have struggled more my first month here if he weren't my flatmate.  I had a lot of fun with him and he has helped me in so many ways he will never know.  I'm fortunate to have met him and will miss him greatly.

No comments:

Post a Comment