This morning J #1 and went to the lake to run. Actually J #1 ran and I dilly dallied. Towards the end of our run/dilly dally we passed a group of young men. There were about 6 of them in this group and when J #1 passed them, I could see that they were saying something about her. I don't understand their language, but it is pretty obvious. The people here have no subtlety. When I saw they were analyzing her, I was a bit hesitant to pass them. One of the guys noticed me and gestured for me to pass. I walked as fast as I could to pass them and once they were behind me, they started yelling at me. I didn't turn around, shook my head and put my hand up acknowledging that I heard them. My headphones were pretty loud and through the music I could hear them telling me to run and keep running. I turned around and one of the guys was gesturing with his hands for me to get away from them as if I insulted them by passing through. I could feel myself getting upset and yelled at them to "shut up". From there things just got worse and their insults kept flying. I could feel the anger rising in me and at this point, I turned around again and yelled "shut the hell up you ignorant bastards". I'm not sure if they understood me, but I took off and ran and ran like Forrest Gump.
When I was finally far enough from them, the adrenaline was wearing off and I began to question my reaction. That was actually the 2nd thing that went through my head. The first thing that went through my head was a Fraggle Rock episode. Not sure which character it was, but I remember vaguely that the character had to leave Fraggle Rock because he was so fed up with people pushing him around. He told his family/friends that he "had it up to here" and that was over the limit the Fraggles were allowed.
It has been a while since I've been that angry and lashed out at anyone. If you asked any of my friends to describe my demeanor, most of them would probably say that I'm pretty mellow. I wouldn't describe myself as "mellow", more like quiet. Earlier today someone told me I was "kind" and it took everything in me to not roll my eyes and argue. A "kind", "mellow" person who is learning and trying to practice the Eight Limbs would of reacted differently. I could attribute my reaction to not feeling well (which I'm so over), lady's holiday, lack of sleep, etc. In the end these are just excuses that might make me feel better for about 2.31 seconds.
On the lighter side of things, my obsession for the game Bejeweled is getting a little out of control. Here are signs when you know you have a problem:
1. you close your eyes and can see the different colored gems
2. you close your eyes and not only can you see the gems, but strategize to place them
3. in your sleep you can hear the sound of the game
4. staying up too late and losing sleep
5. playing in secrecy and lying about the amount of time you are playing from your roommate
6. turning off the sound so no one can hear the activity on your computer
7. pretending to be napping, but really playing
8. reading tips on line to get a higher score
9. envying your cousin's mad skills
10. you sit and ponder how it is possible that your friends score 3x more than your highest score
11. video chatting with a friend and playing at the same time
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