Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Blue Mind

Coming down to the last few days of my journey and I'm still very sad about leaving.  Jonah is going home today and that leaves me with a few days to myself.  I started this journey alone and I will end it alone.  Since it has been decided that I will be going home as scheduled, I'm not looking forward to having to spend an extra day in Singapore.  I would rather do without the stop and go home directly.  I've set myself up that when I arrive LAX I will be among people that I can emotionally breakdown and be okay.  I'm not saying this will happen, but I need to be prepared.  When I went on vacation to New Zealand, I remember coming home and as I opened my front door, I started to cry.  This was about the time my dad had his stroke and the reality I was going home to then was much harsher then the situation now.  My situation now is that I will be homeless for about a week and unemployed.  I know I will be in the right hands soon as I land. 

Practice the past few days has been rough.  India has decided to bless me with two last gifts before I depart: stomach issues and a cold/sinus issues.  The stomach issues are easier to deal with since I have been going through them for the duration of my stay.  The cold is another story.  Every time I leave Mysore I always end up sick.  The neat thing is getting medication here is much easier than home.  I can walk up to any pharmacy and tell them exactly what I want and a packet of pills cost less than $0.25.  This place is every pill head's paradise or nightmare.

Yesterday in class, I was practicing next to someone breathing like they had a smurf up their nose.  I know that sounds mean, but I think it is unfair.  I guess my reaction wouldn't  be as harsh if this person didn't arrive late.  I admit that I was slightly annoyed that I had to move my mat to make room, but the smurf breathing - well that is unforgivable.  For all I know this person could have a sinus problem, but still.  I'm not the best practitioner and every one knows when I enter the room as I have a difficult time being quiet and not tripping over things.  The smurf breathing defies all of my rules of remaining unnoticed. 

As my departure gets closer and closer, I'm noticing that I'm more cranky and a bit aggro.  Aggro only when I am driving the scooter though.  Yesterday while riding the scooter in the city, I had the "right of way" and this guy was going around the round-about and clearly saw me.  I was heading straight, but instead of going around the circle he literally tried to clip my scooter with his motorcycle to run me off the road.  Then this morning I was crossing the intersection and this car sped through the speed bumps to cross before me.  Same thing happens when I am standing in line at the grocery store or post office.  Some people literally come up and stand in front of me so they don't have to wait.  I don't know what it is, but it's rude and the rudeness is getting to me.  People can come up with as many excuses that it's part of the culture, but as a human, culture or no culture, they are still being an ass.  I'm just too nice or too stupid for that matter to speak up and say something.  Every time I run into a situation like this, I always think of one of my closest friends.  She is very nice and sweet, but she is feisty when she needs to be and doesn't back down or puts up with any one's crap.  Sometimes I wish I could carry her in my pocket and take her out when I have to deal with a confrontation.  My goal this week is to not get arrested and burn any bridges.  Since Jonah is leaving tonight, it is probably best if I return the scooter early.  I could just imagine getting the wrath from my sister if something bad happened.

To clarify the statement above because I know my sister will be reading this.  When I was growing up and even now, my sister had to play mom and dad to my brother and I.  It's a daunting task for any person to handle and she has handled it very well.  Not always graceful, but what can you expect from someone that lost her teenage years taking care of a rebellious, smart ass sister and a brother that thinks he can move to Canada and live off of $50.  As I got older, my sister's role has changed more into an actual sister and a friend.  I'm well aware that I can make my own decisions and the consequences will always be mine to handle, but since she is important to me and her opinion does (sometimes) matters, I try not to do stupid things.  With that being said, my niece and nephew look up to me and ending up in an Indian prison would not be good.  Plus hard labor would be detrimental to my delicate hands.        

No comments:

Post a Comment