Saturday, December 19, 2009

Falling Into Grace

It's been a while my last update and honestly, there hasn't been anything interesting in my life to blog about except for the 30-day yoga challenge.  I've spent the last 7 weeks "adjusting" or I should say resisting to being back.  Everyone is probably tired of hearing me say how much I miss being in India and how I hate being back, but that is just the way I feel.  Since I've been back, I've been applying for employment and going through the motions of a normal job hunter that is slightly desperate for a job.  There is a part of me that stresses out about not having a job and going through the financial stress, yet there is other side of me that is content not going to a job that I'm miserable at.  Everyone has their opinion about me not working or being socially irresponsible and until you are in my situation then it's unfair to judge. 

So it's day 5 of the yoga challenge and the past few days have been difficult practicing.  I'm not trying to wuss out, but my sciatica is still bad and I hurt my wrist climbing the other day.  Every Vinyasa and anything that has to do with my left leg is so painful.  I've mastered the lopsided Vinyasa and have been getting through the practice, just not gracefully.  Yet again, when have I ever been graceful about anything.  Last week I was in a yoga class and the teacher was having us do this movement and her comment was for each individual to find their "state of grace".  I began to laugh when I heard that.  The word 'grace' and 'graceful' does not exist in my vocabulary.  Just the other day I was attempting to do a headstand and the moment my legs went up, I knew that I was unstable.  Instead of coming down and readjusting, I tried to adjust my body while upside down.  Well, that didn't work out so well.  When I over rotate, I usually end up crushing my fingers and it hurts like hell.  To avoid crushing my fingers, I roll over to the side or somehow lift and roll my head.  In this situation, since my wrist was in pain, I didn't want to do anything to create more damage.  It happened all too fast and to save my wrist and fingers from pain, I rolled to side and tucked my knees.  I have no explanation for what happened next, but it was so painful that I would of preferred crushing my fingers or hurting my wrist more.  When I rolled to the side and tucked my knees, my right knee came up and my kneecap hit me in the eye.  I had a Bugs Bunny moment and saw stars after the impact.  The following day as I was applying sunscreen on my face, I looked in the mirror and noticed a bruise around my right eye and eyelid.  With that said, next time someone tells me to find my "state of grace" I may actually pay attention and not berate the suggestion.  Still the little kid in me wants to say "ha! to your state of grace". 

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